So I have new news. My brother came to San Francisco for couple of days for his work purpose, even if most of his time he will be busy and I am also have school but still it’s really refreshment to me to having him. The good thing is that the conference location that he will attend for the next couple of days is near of my school. Today when I had a lunch break, I got the chance to see what he was doing. He managed to get me inside the place, and I took a sneak peak. There were a lot of lectures explaining about the advanced tools that will be soon dominant the medicine business. What is cool that we could play with the tools. One of the lecturer was talking about the importance of robots that is now considered a primary thing in everything in the medicine, especially for people who can’t walk or can’t use their legs or hands and need a replacement, and he show a video about using a robot as a leg and helps the patient to walk easily and control it as a normal one. Overall it was very interesting.

Why do religions that support love cause so many wars?
Religions have nothing to do with war, yes they support love, and unfortunately we all are witness to a different power of love. Selfishness is considered one of the most powerful love that exists. There is a difference between love and peace. Love doesn't necessary mean to care about others, it could be dominant love that blind a person and limit him to see more than his and his group concerns. I don't want to enter now the religious issues, I am discussing from the philosophical side, but what I know for sure and I strongly believe in, all the religions that exist in this world and the people who really believe on them, they all really support and want peace and they consider war is the last choice to have. I am just saying, that religion never was the cause of the many wars, yes some unfortunately excuses that it's religion issue but it's not. Religion is just polishes the soul of a human, a person with a religion or without doesn’t matter, the matter what his or her actions are. Unfortunately some people do awful actions under the label of religion, war, and killing people. I disagree and dismiss the idea of anyone who agrees to kill others' soul; we don’t have the right to kill anyone. War is the result for whom want to be the king of the jungle.

I wish I could write more creative writing these days but I still really like the idea of writing everyday even if it's just regular writing, It's kinda of a way to relieve the stress of the daily life.

At what time in your past have you felt most passionate and alive?

When I was 6-10 years old, I was very passionate, believing I can do anything. I thought I can move things so I just sat on the floor hours trying to move the pencil and when the pencil was moved by the wind, I felt the pride of doing it (actually I am still convinced that I moved it. Anyway, I thought I can fly, but the result of my broken leg proved I can’t (not proud to admit it but it’s a true story). I mean I thought I could do a lot of things, like speaking animal language, trying to create new things, even if they weren’t that big deal but the process of trying was interesting. Actually me and my brother build a little machine we called it mother alarm, it is was a little box of metal which was before a broken toy and it was attached with string and we put it in front of the door on the floor near of my room so when my mother got closed and crossed the door, the box closed making loud sound, so we get back to pretend we were studying. I am sure all the children have done and still doing all these stuff and more, but it was really fun and I felt very alive at that time.

The women with the long neck. It is amazing how the leaf looks like a full lips of a woman.

My intention was to to build her white hair with my shoe ribbons, but I was in the middle of the street. Next time.

You’re having lunch with three people you respect and admire. They all start criticizing a close friend of yours, not knowing she is your friend.  The criticism is distasteful and unjustified. What do you do?

The question doesn’t make any sense to me. So the three agreed with one opinion against my close friend and criticize her or him, they are not one or two, they are three people, and at the same time they are the ones who I respect and admire. So on my opinion there will be three possibilities.

1- First, even if my close friend did something that evoked all the three of them to criticize, I would  strongly disagree with them for criticizing him or her especially in front of me, they should solve the problem with my friend, and I would ask them to change the subject.

 2- The three people that I admire are totally wrong, and I am wrong to respect them and admire them, if they criticize people in distasteful way in front of me and in front of other people, they will criticize about me soon. Unfortunately, Some people gain power when they dig in people characteristics and want to reveal their weaknesses.It's a low behavior.

 3- I am naive and I don’t know how to choose my close friends well or the people who I admire and respect.

 Beauty and the beast

No I don't smoke but just found it like this

 Would you rather your child be less attractive and extremely intelligent or extremely attractive and less intelligent?

Hypothetically, if I have a child, both the cases I wouldn’t mind, but the question didn’t mention about his or her characteristic. Okay let’s assume my child is a girl, I believe both the ways, there will be pros and cons. I can’t assume if she is extreme attractive or extreme intelligent, she will have easier life. I believe there is always an equation about our lives. We have different level of intelligent, appearance, beauty, but there are always challenges, so it depends on us and on our attitude how we will face them. Some people when they face a small problem, they handle it as it is the end of their lives, and this itself will waste their energy and their happiness. Some always faces difficult challenges but they take them patiently and positively, so there attitude make them have an advantage than the others who look at life in a very narrow way even if they have less problems. So I don’t care who would be my child, when she or he will come, we will figure out something, but I think he or she will be fine especially if my child takes my gene of sense humor :)

If you just won a million dollars, would you quit your job?

No, I will never quit my job (If I had the job that I am imagining in my mind). When I am doing something passionately in my life, it will be a blessing for me. Yes money is important but I will never do a job just for money, it will be very painful. Money will come eventually with the process of doing what I love. Money is not the goal, it is an advantage. So if I won a million dollars by my luck, I wouldn’t let it ruin a bridge that I really took long time to build to reach my goal. I will always depend on my own hand. There is another scenario for the story which is if I am still in the process of looking for a job that I can see myself working in for a very long time, and the currently job that I have is not that job, I probably will invest the money with some projects (Advertising projects), I am studying advertising by the way. Anyway after I have a safe path, I will wave myself completely to the other project, and I will quit my job. But still I don’t like this scenario. I feel I will never depend on money, I never earn it by myself, maybe I am crazy, but it’s me. I have to earn something to feel the joy of it.

Would you rather lose all of your old memories, or never be able to make new ones?

Actually I don't know both are bad So to lose all my old memories for ever without an chance to have them back will be sucks.My family and I will suffers through the process of making me to remember. But I think I will choose to lose all of my old memories. Maybe it sounds cheesy but I believe feelings are not related with my memory so my old feelings towards my beloved one will be still there, yes it doesn't bring old memories back but it is a start for the hope to grow.If I am selfish I will choose to never be able to make new ones and the two things that causes that, death, or very short memory. So if I am still breathing and I have a short memory, I will still have my old memories, and I will forget any frustration of not being able to make new memories soon, so the only one in this equation will suffer is my family.

This is the third lost dog poster. Is Cruella de Vil from 101 Dalmatatians movie came alive?

First it depends on these people characteristics, and why they hate each other in the first place. If they hate each other without showing and they can feel it but still can put the fake smile to cover their canning nature. Well, the fact of she or he shows the fake smile in the normal days, which means they always think about their interest (very selfish) and they don’t want anyone as  their enemy in obvious way, so why now will show the true feelings especially she or he needs someone to entertainment her or him in these next 12 boring hours and for sure the subject they will discuss will not be about solving hunger problems around the world, strong possibility it will be about gossip. If they are reasonable people who hate each with respect, they probably sit in silence for couple of hours, reading book, maybe in somehow they will be friends if the conflict is a misunderstanding , no it’s a long shot. In general, hate itself is really has a strong meaning, yes we usually say I hate him or her but we don’t mean it. I mean until you reach the really feeling of hate which before it, you get through a lot of stages of grays’ tones of dislike or discomfort. But if you really both passed all these stages and purely hate each other, I suggest to keep pushing the red help bottom, and when you get tired just pretend fainting, yes he hates you but his best interest to keep you in one piece until the door is open especially people who know you guys know that you hate each other. Anyway, the worst scenario you will have is he will bunch you. Face it like a man (I say that to a man or a woman).

 Describe yourself in the third person- your physical appearance and personality?

She has funky short radish hair and she has brown sleepy eyes, normal size noise, average body, not thin and not fat, average height. People tell her that she is a tomboy. Her personality: She is not that talkative except if it is something really interests her. She likes to listen more than to talk. She is funny, bored easily from routine. People sometime misunderstood her at first; she always needs more time than others to show her personality especially to new people. She loves animals especially cats. People in her country used to give her nickname when she was young which was Mowgli from the jungle book,  because she used to spend all the time with animals more than humans. She is always absent minded, sometimes while she is walking on the street even if she stared at you she may not recognize you until you call her name. She considers herself she has a sense of humor but unfortunat­ely not everyone understands her jokes directly. Most of the time she has to explain them to others, (it’s their fault not hers), but what's the point, it's like eating the soup when it’s cold. She may look naive but if you talk with her about any subject she would surprise you. She loves reading, since childhood she always bury her head inside the books. Finally, she is super cool.

If life is so short, why do we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do?

Imagine, You have a ruler, you can see the point where it starts and where its ends, you see the length of it, but when you just see part of it and the other part is under pile of papers, you will put many possibilities for how tall or short the ruler is and you will lean more to the one possibility that will benefit you or the one you really want to have.  I meant from my example, we know when we started our lives but our ends still under pile of unknown. Yes life is short but depends on whom, we experience people dying, and some people have short lives than others, but as the selfish nature of a human being that most people have which is the inner believe that we are different and we are immune to bad things to happen to us or death. Though, from time to time fear will haunt us but life’s temptations will make us get distracted. For that we sometimes act like we still have many other chances to do what we really like or don't like. The other reasons why we do so many things we don’t like and like so many things we don’t do? Fear from failing, or even fear from trying and doing what we really want. Sometimes we stick with the things we use to, they are safer. In addition, doing new things is always scary. Also we always think we have the time to do what we want, but we always delay them. Also fear from what other people will think if we do what we want to do. Finally the most important reason is we are just human beings and that is the definition of the opposite form of god, we full of errors and mistakes, and we are not perfect. We sometimes choose our choices and then discover what we really want and what we like through the process of doing what we don’t like.

In the past, it was really hard to find one of those with its all seeds on. Clearly these days, no one makes a wish and blow.

I will post again this picture and what I wrote because it didn't show yesterday.

So again this from the book that I took some pictures from.

The best thing that could happens?

To win a Noble prize.

 Draft 2
Which is worse, failing or never trying?

  To never try is much worse than to fail. If you don't try, you judge your chance of success to be executed without giving it a fair trial. When you decide to try and then you don’t get it right, it depends on you from which angle you will view it, to look at it as another draft of your story and you decide to rewrite it again, or you will look at it as the period you end your story with, and put fail for its title. It’s your story. How you will write it well without many balled up papers around you. You edit and rewrite and rewrite again. Life is like this. The more your goal gets higher, the more its price gets up, and life doesn’t give you anything without paying.

Also while you are trying, it’s fine to have fear as your companion, but don’t ever let it your leader. I will give an example how I always see fear. I always imagine it as someone you have to go with and you are putting handcuffs together and you have very long journey, and at the beginning of the journey he is still thin and small, but he is getting bigger, and fat. Then, you have to walk slower because his movements are getting heavier. Eventually, you have to push him or curry him( I don't know if you can carry him with your handcuffs on). Anyway the point is you will be very tired to keep going. So never feed your fears with a lot of doubts and worries. 

  On the other hand some people may take longer time than others to achieve their goals and they will have a lot of unsuccessful experiences before they do it right. Have your own pace; it is fine to be as slow as a turtle. No shame of that. Turtles are cool. There is a famous turtle we all know, which is in the story called (The Turtle and the Rabbit Race). Yes it’s a children story; but also it is a moral about life. Eventually you will reach your goal if you never give up.

A page of a book, I saw in the bookstore. This book almost cost 18$ and the book content is just about questions to write about. Yes it has some interesting questions but not worth to spent 18$, Anyway I took a picture to answer one of the questions.

Thoughts on your favorite pet's personality?

 Her name was (cat cat). She loved to eat corn. She was annoyed from any pencils on the table. They had to be on the floor. She used to wait with me until the school bus arrived and then crossed the street with me and waited until I entered the bus then returned back home. She used to feel when I was sad so she used to jump on my lap and sat quietly.

Do you see the green light and how the cars are turning to the right? Believe it or not, I really thought for a long time that the green light is for us and we can cross the street, until couple of days ago I realized it is not. To be accurate I crossed it two times without having any problems and with confident  and after the third time I realized the sad fact. Maybe one of the times a driver looked at me very angry but I thought he had a bad day so I didn't pay a lot of attention to him. Today, when it turned to green, it really looked like if I crossed it again, it will be very dangerous. So I wonder what is the moral here? Is it (what you don't know, won't hurt you), or (what you believe is what you see)? Nope. I think it is ( Razan wake up and focus, you were lucky you weren't hit by a car.)

I can proudly announce that now I consider myself one of the people who can eat with chopsticks professionally. When I used to go with my friends to eat, and when I wanted to just try to use chopsticks, my food flew from my plate tragically and it was that bad that the waitress volunteered by herself to get me a fork. I felt I had to learn it because it was one step forward to the human civilization and it wasn't hard, it just need perssusivnte, so I put it in the list (the list of the things I have to do in my life). I set the goal last semester and I bought chopsticks from China town and when I cooked at home, I used them always except for soup and even outside I used them as possible as I could . I called that era, the chopsticks era. Now surprisingly I discovered I am more comfortable to use chopsticks than fork in almost everything.

We have the same point of view.

I thought people will have happy faces after Spring break but nope, they are grumpy.

A mug my nephews gave it to me in my last visit to Jordan.


 

This morning, I talked with my nephews on Skype Laith and Qais 6, 4 years old. I am close to them and we have very special relationship, pretty much because I am very close to my brother (their father) who is older than me 15 years old. Yes 15 not 5.
 I don’t think my nephews consider me as their aunt, they just call me Razan. I talked with Laith and as always Laith who is very talkative and has a lot of stories to tell. He has an incredible ability to describe something that it may happened to him in a length of just 2 minutes and turn it to a long story of 20 minutes, and spice it with a lot of rich details even with the sound effects. He has a football match next week, so he show me with his ball one of the movements he learned from his football training lesson, unfortunately, by mistake the computer screen was the goal. Then my brother tried to convince him to give Qais a chance to talk to me. Eventually he did but wasn’t very pleased. Qais who is the opposite of Laith, he is very quiet, but at the same time he has very charming characteristic. I talked with him about a very big bubbles maker, I saw on the street. If you put him in front of a bubbles maker, he wouldn't pay any attention to anyone around him for couple of hours and just played with them. Actually he usually talks to them.

These are the new cards I bought today.

  I don’t want my absence to affect my relationship with Laith and Qais especially they are still in a young age. So we came up with an idea to send letters to each other every month, sometimes I put inside them little things like stickers or coins from different countries( they love to collect coins from other countries). My brother told me how they got very excited when they opened the letters. So I am glad.

That is sad. He is the second dog I saw his poster during these two months. I don't want to be judgmental but how their owners lost them?

Even though I post what I write every time, I always get back to them, because I always find tons of  mistakes.

 Which is worse, failing or never trying? To never try is much worse than to fail. If you don't try, you decide to hang your chance of successes (even if it is a slight chance) without giving it a fair trial. And when you decide to try and you don’t get it right, at that time it depends on you from which angle you would view it, to look at it as another attempt sails with it’s another tries or to look at it as the end of your story and put fail for its title. On the other hand, it doesn't mean if you decide to try, you are free from fear. Fear evokes you to keep going, but it’s important to not feed it and armed it with a lot of doubts and worries or then you will be a prisoner inside its container.

 On the other hand some people may take longer time than others to achieve their goals and they would have a lot of unsuccessful experiences before they do it right. Have your own pace; it is fine to have a progress as slow as a turtle. No shame of that. Turtles are cool. There is a famous turtle we all know, which is in the story called (The Turtle and the Rabbit Race). Yes it’s a children story; but also it is a moral about life. Eventually you will reach your goal if you never give up.
 You are the writer of your life story. How you would write it well without many balled up papers around you. You edit and rewrite and rewrite again. Life is like this. It doesn’t give us success without paying.

. 

 I was thinking that when I start school, most of my school days news will be about projects, so I found an interesting website has interesting questions. By this this way I will not worry about what I will write everyday . This is the website and everyday I will answer one of the questions.
 http://www.marcandangel.com/2009/07/13/50-questions-that-will-free-your-mind/

How old would you be if you didn’t know how old you are?

Well I am 25 and 5 months old, and I think I will be at the same age even if I didn't know how old I am. If the question is about how old am I, based on the ability of making decisions in an objective way and being able to think logically, I believe I am even sometimes older than my age when it’s about making decisions. Basically because since in a young age I had to make decisions by myself( yes my family always supports and helps me with advises), but I knew if I took any wrong decision I am the most one who would be affected from it, so I had to think twice. If the question is about how old am I based on how I view things in life and my attitude in general, I would say I have pretty much young age, and I hope I will be like this always. Just let’s say having young spirit helped me a lot and still . Unfortunately, sometimes people misunderstand that having young spirit it's mean you are childish and naive and treat you that way. So at some point you have to find the balance and know how to deal with these people and these situations.

The spring break is almost finish. Technically, my classes start Tuesday but I have group meetings the next couple of days. The break was a refreshment, and re energize the mind. I got the chance to catch up with my friends, relax, sleep, sleep, sleep, taste new food, and I visited new places in Fransisco. I have been here one year but a lot of places I still didn't have the chance to visit. Humm what else. I wonder if the School tomorrow is open. I miss the library. I know it seems like a nerdy thing to say but I have to get back to work and the library is where I am most productive. Also my house, but my room half of it is my bed, so it's like my bed is looking at me and saying come back to sleep, and it is very tempting to be lazy there. If I go to other places like Star box, I hardly can focus, I am very sensitive to noises and movements and I got distracted very easily. So we will see.

I always bribe myself to start working.

purity

Umbrella, sun glasses, jacket, hat, scarves, and I am wearing summer clothes. Basically, I put in my bag all the clothes that I would wear for the four seasons of the year, and that because Mr. Weather has severed multiple personality disorder. Plus, the weather news yesterday forgot to mention the tiny detail about the heavy raining with the angry thunderstorms.So better safe than sorry.

I have a new roommate. Yes, she is a fish. Her name is Selfish. I know I am mean, but I felt that the name really suits her. She is still shy. We are still on the process of knowing each other. We are taking it slowly. She was shocked when she saw herself in the mirror. I think she has a problem with her personal identity. She is not convinced that she is a fish, also she is trying to jump from the water.  Poor thing but I think with therapy and chitchat with her every day, she will be fine. Other than that, her personality seems cool and outswimming(outgoing).  I will update Selfish news and post her pictures from time to time.

After an urgent conference, a decision was made. No more time sitting under the sun. More victims disappeared or vanished while they were having fun under the sun. Exposing to it, becomes a life threatening. Citizens are now moving in a panic to the underground world.

I am not out the wood yet.

While I was walking on my way back home, a shoe box was placed in front of the garbage can, captured my eyes. I was in a hurry trying to cross the street while the light was still green. The pace of my legs slowed down and stopped at the corner of the street after the red light dominated .While I was waiting the light, I changed my mind and decided to enter Star Box near me. I sat in front of the window where I still could see the shoe box . The cover of the shoe box was closed but one of the shoes was outside which looked almost new. It was weird, who would leave a new pair of shoes on the street? After few seconds, I glimpsed a figure emerged from the shallow. An old man jumped in front of the shoe box, looking at it in unbelief . His joy equaled to a joy of a five years old kid who had found a present under a Christmas tree. In a hustle, In one hand he was holding the shoe and with the other, he opened the cover of the shoe box very quickly. Suddenly he threw the shoe on the ground, his face expression changed, and he was looking all around him with very intense face. He got down on his knees searching under the garbage can, and then he opened the cover of the garbage. He examined it carefully. Everything seemed so clear back then. The other shoe wasn’t there. His hope was torn into shreds. He punched the air angrily with his fist and looked at the sky and shouted the word GOD with a tone braided with threads of disappointment, anger, and sadness. He leaned toward the wall looking at the floor. After a minute, there was a three year’s old little girl with her mother getting out from Star Box. The little girl looked very curious about him, and smiled at him. No wonder why she was interested in him.  He had a very long white beard which was similar with the beard of a goat. His eyes were a theater filled with his exposed emotions and covered with a layer of tears. He looked exactly like Santa Clause, but not any Santa Clause, a one who went down several dirty chimneys all night. Even though at that moment, he seemed like he hated anyone who processed happiness, surprisingly he said to the little girl with his bold voice HI. The dismissing look that the little girl’s mother gave him set him again in a movement and continued walking until he disappeared from my sight.

A tree's memo

Retirement from running.

 Hi, I will write everyday. Even though I have no idea what to write about but I will figure it out. It will be challenging at first, but i am very excited about it. It is a step forward . In my free time I will write stories and in school days I will try to write at least one hour. Usually it takes me long time to frame my thoughts and put them into words, so this one of the things I really hope it will be solved through time.